In this Lunch and Learn, Dr. Brooke Gazdag and I answer your negotiation questions! First, we talk about how you can become more aware of your own gender biases (first video), and then explore how to navigate stereotypes (second video). Finally, we provide tips on how to become a better negotiator (third video).
Dr. Brooke Gazdag is an organizational psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Amsterdam. To learn more about Brooke, click here.
BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE CONTENT
Question 1: “Intuitive I take a cooperative approach, however I have never reflected on the gender dynamics when negotiating, so I don't know if I have gender biases that I am unaware of. Is there any way to be cognizant of this and recognize any biases you have while negotiating with the opposite sex & how to correct them?”
Gender bias is an automatic and often unconscious process that can manifest in subtle and obvious ways. While we are not the best judge of our own behaviour and biases, there are a few things that we can do to minimize the ways that bias show up:
Become more mindful of your thought processes and how you make decisions. Expand the pieces of information that you take into account when forming judgments by:
Slowing down your automatic judgments
Taking the perspective of your counterpart
Taking a 3rd party perspective
Considering both the situation and your counterpart at the same time
Becoming reflective on how you form judgments and make decisions
Become more aware of how biases show-up in your corporation by eliciting feedback and getting objective data on gender equality:
Find out whether there is equal gender representation in your organization at different levels of corporate hierarchy
Elicit feedback from women on policies that effect women
Find out whether women were involved in the creation of gender equality policies
Question 2: “If an individual in a low-power (position) doesn’t fit the norm of the stereotyped group that they belong to, do they need to consciously “play along” (and to what extent) in order to get the best negotiation outcome.”
Navigating group stereotypes is about understanding underlying power dynamics, and what is behaviourally expected and acceptable from that group. When someone from the group goes outside the range of acceptable behaviour, they may experience micro-aggression from others as a way to conform their behaviours. This will be exasperated in corporate cultures that are not diverse nor tolerant to different types of people, perspectives and view points. While there are no easy solutions to navigating these types of interpersonal dynamics, here are a few tips to help you:
Increase your ability to be persuasive within the context of the relationship:
Use empathy and perspective taking to understand your counterpart’s view points and increase your ability to make persuasive arguments
Signal flexibility when making request
Show passion while making requests
Be aware of your corporate culture and act appropriately, as defined by you:
Look for diverse corporate cultures
Increase your power (objective and psychological) before walking into any situation
Understand that micro-aggression may happen when you act in ways that is not consistent with what people expect of you. Try not to take it personally and consciously decide how you want to respond in these types of situations.
Question 3: “How do I improve my negotiation skills?”
Learn about negotiations and assertiveness
Paterson, R. J. (2000). The assertiveness workbook: How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships. New Harbinger Publications.
Voss, C., & Raz, T. (2016). Never split the difference: Negotiating as if your life depended on it. Random House.
Google Talk “No is not the end of a conversations, but the beginning of one…”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZa7mQV1l0
How to harness trust, empathy and the word ‘No’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLQiemA7a_k
Ury, W. (2007). The power of a positive no: How to say no and still get to yes.
Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/william_ury
The walk from ‘no’ to ‘yes’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc6yi_FtoNo
Experiment
Practice: being more assertive, saying no, learn to listen better, ask different types of questions, identify the needs behinds peoples words/emotions
Get honest feedback
Elicit feedback from co-workers and friends
Get negotiation training from negotiation experts
There is a systemic way to go about negotiation planning, bargaining and post-negotiation interactions. Experts will be able to help you learn this.
To join the next Lunch and Learn, sign up here.
Details: Last Thursday of the month; Thursday 12:30 pm to 1:10 pm (EST)
Format: 10-20 min summary on a topic or concept followed by an interactive Q&A (15-20 mins). Video of the Q&A will never be shared if participant faces are recorded to maintain participant’s privacy.
When I started exploring the science of negotiations, I became interested in interviewing expert negotiators to comprehend the intricacies of real-world negotiations. These interviews informed my lens on the subject and laid the foundation for how I apply to train negotiators. Among the lessons learned, the central tenet that has remained steadfast is expert negotiators consistently employ relationship-based negotiation strategies.