Attachment theory, a groundbreaking concept developed by John Bowlby, delves into the deep emotional bonds we form with our caregivers in our early years and how these bonds reverberate through the chambers of our lives. It's like the foundational blueprint for our interpersonal dynamics, affecting our behaviors and relationships across the board, even within the hallowed halls of the workplace.
But hold on a minute! You might wonder what family affairs have to do with your job or relationships with colleagues and superiors. The answer is, a lot! Attachment theory, often overshadowed in workplace discussions, is starting to take center stage. Researchers are now discovering how it silently orchestrates the way we navigate workplace dynamics, including our ability to accept feedback, our commitment to the job, and our interactions with bosses and coworkers. This includes one of my favourite research discoveries in this realm, unveiling the individuals who are most and least inclined to depart from a toxic workplace.
Let's take a journey into this intriguing realm and uncover the secrets of how attachment theory influences your professional life.
In this Lunch and Learn I talk about the social function role of emotions and their expressions as well as debunk commonly held beliefs around emotional expression (first video). I also share with you 5 great tips that you can start applying today to personalize your online communication (second video).
“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” - Rumi
Conflicts arise from a variety of reasons, ranging from benign (e.g., misunderstandings) to malicious (e.g., deception). The key to dealing with conflict is knowing when to take a softer approach and seek understanding versus when to take an assertive approach and become explicit about your expectations and boundaries.
People are going to annoy you, disappoint you, and fall short. They won’t mean to, but they will. In these moments, you could stay silent and let resentment build (a lovely way to slowly deteriorate a relationship and frustrate yourself) or you could try to speak up and make a request. The issue with speaking up is that while you may have the best intentions if you communicate in a defensive non-effective manner, you will escalate a misunderstanding, hurt the people that you care about, and slowly degrade the quality of your relationships.
One great tool for taking responsibility in relationships and asking for your needs to be met (a.k.a., a request for a change in behaviour) is using an “I-statements” request.
